You Can Not Forget, But You Can Rebuild Your Life

One of the thoughts that causes the most discomfort in people is not being able to forget anyone.  That may be true, but something you can do is rebuild your life.

This is the case with people undergoing a separation. In addition, for people who leave a toxic relationship, the fear that the person is still present may remain even though the individual is not physically present in their lives. It has a lot to do with the uncertainty of not knowing if this will ever change. You never know if that feeling will actually go away.

Within this process, important emotional effects occur when all the good memories suddenly reappear. Feelings that are a mixture of nostalgia and anger towards the periodic flashes that come from this constant source of suffering.

Logically, these people end up asking themselves: Why do memories of someone who hurt me so much and who I have to get away from feel so beautiful? Why do they produce so much discomfort and discomfort for me? Is it perhaps because the person was “the right one”? Shouldn’t I let go despite all the damage the person has inflicted on me?

Because at the end of the day, you still care about the person. This is what makes us suffer the most when we distance ourselves from someone. Even if it is for our own good, we do it to guard our self-love. How can I love someone who has hurt me so much? This is the question we ask ourselves over and over again.

You can at least do it. You can love someone who does not deserve your love; you can remember someone with the same care and tenderness that his memories left you with. Your loved ones often ask questions like “how can you not hate him after all he has done to you?”, “How can you not see her in a different light after all you have been through?”. These questions may be logical to the mind, but confusing to the heart.

You can obviously continue to love someone who has made you suffer – that is the logic of the heart. The passion and the pleasurable experiences we have had are still there, and these bring back good memories. Memories that make us suffer and hurt us when we try to turn our backs on them. For our heads are incapable of understanding this strange paradox.

Yes, this paradox exists, and it is part of human nature. It is useless to get frustrated in an attempt to convince the heart not to feel, when that is exactly what it is done for. The heart will feel beyond the limits of the mind.

Accepting reality is difficult but necessary when trying to rebuild your life. It will save us a lot of useless effort. The fact that the heart “is a free soul” does not indicate that we can not use our heads. Reason will help us maintain the integrity of our self-love. Not being able to forget someone who was an important part of our lives (no matter what harm the person suffered) does not mean that we were meant to be with the person in question.

Remembering is normal, natural and human. Doing this with this new experience that we have learned from will also help us protect ourselves. Do everything you want, aim for the activities you always wanted to do but just let go. Draw, dance, compose, write, build, create, take care of your loved ones… Love yourself.

Love yourself, take care of yourself, indulge in your self-love. Be clear about what you learned from the relationship. Blaming the other person for the damage you received will not help you in the long run. But knowing that you were capable of enduring “love” or that blind passion will help you accept your share of responsibility.

Think about it… be honest with yourself. Ask yourself: “What boundaries have I crossed in the relationship with my self-love?” Take time to respond calmly. “What limitations do I now know that I am not willing to step into any relationships?” Develop with this experience and do not rush to forget if you can not.

Remember that you can not forget someone you loved, but you can rebuild your life and create new memories with new experiences that will give you the kind of love you deserve.