To Accept Does Not Mean To Conform
Many times we tend to suffer excessively due to situations that are not really in our control. And sometimes we have more difficulty with our own resistance to accept what has happened than with the negative fact.
It is true that emotions are absolutely necessary and that it is not recommended to suppress them. Grief is our way of regaining balance and informing others that we are not feeling well. Anxiety helps us protect ourselves from certain risks and dangers. Disgust prevents us from getting sick.
Emotions, when they are adaptive and fit the situation in question, are very necessary and help us to survive. Problems arise when the feeling no longer serves any purpose and is turned against us. It is as if we are setting hooks for ourselves and becoming our own worst enemies.
As we know, whether we feel good or bad is determined by our way of focusing on the facts we have. As the Buddha said: Pain is inevitable, but suffering is optional. You can choose how and how much you want to suffer. And to do this, you must understand that the world is full of uncertainty and that we have control over very few things. But this is only part of the game.
Not at all. As the title of the article reads: To accept does not mean to conform. Many people think that if they do not complain enough, if they do not cry, scream and get angry in the world when something goes wrong, it means that they are conforming and that it is a weak thing to do. But in reality it is the exact opposite.
The weak thing to do is to waste our energy and valuable time on something beyond our control; on something we can not modify. I insist that emotions mean a lot, but only to a certain point. Beyond this point, they become useless.
Having desires, goals, passionate projects and dreams is vital and very important to be happy and find meaning in our lives. We should not conform to something if we do not like it; we should try to change that. In the same way that if we want something that we value highly, we must chase it and, if we can, find and enjoy it.
That is why we are not talking about conformation. If you want something, you should chase it and also enjoy the trip. But the important thing to understand is that no matter how much we fight for something, it can ultimately go wrong due to factors that are beyond our control. And this is where the concept of acceptance comes into play.
And? It is not, has never been and never will be. This is what we must accept. Acceptance means that you understand that sometimes things go your way and sometimes not. And that’s normal, because if everything were perfect, we would never value happy times.
To enjoy victories, you must experience defeat. Therefore, it is important that you say to yourself: “I will try to make everything work well and make an effort. But if it does not, it is a pity. There are things that do not depend on me, and I will not be more upset about it than I need to be. Other possibilities will come. ”
And it is not enough to repeat it. You have to believe it, because that’s the only reality. You will find thousands of obstacles along the way, and it is best that you accept this sooner rather than later. Accepting this will save you a lot of unnecessary suffering.
The world is not always what you want it to be; no matter how angry, sad or anxious this makes you. Things will not always be the way you want them to be. If you accept this, your emotional state will be much calmer and more relaxed, and it will allow you to see the situation clearly. You will not let your emotions dominate and cloud your vision.
People do not act according to expectations: Everyone is an individual with his or her own mentality who can do as he or she wants. Leave your expectations of others behind you. Do not wait for anything from them. Simply let people surprise you with their actions and enjoy what they can offer you.
People make mistakes, and so do you: Try to fix your mistakes and try to get others to do the same. But do not judge others or yourself for failures, to make mistakes is also part of the game. And thanks to mistakes, we end up being good at many things.
To accept is to realize that everything is good as it is and that what happens will happen. But we should always leave enough room for change and act to improve a situation with a peaceful and loving attitude towards the future.
