This Is How Determined People Resolve Conflicts

Certain people are neither submissive nor submissive, neither arrogant nor narcissistic. They are not disrespectful and they are good at resolving conflicts and differences. They can skillfully defend their rights. They creatively relieve tension and correct misunderstandings. The reason they resolve conflicts so well is that they have control over their emotions.

We all know that determination is an important ingredient in good communication and good conditions. But often we lack the quick thinking, energy and determination. Unfortunately, it does not come pre-packaged from the store.

Many of us find it difficult to do so that what we think and what we do are in line. Slowly but surely, we accumulate so much frustration and discomfort that we eventually react in the worst possible way. Determination is above all a display of personal dignity.

One of the most vital areas of determination is relationship problems. Whether at work or in private, there is always a time when you have to defend your opinions and even your own identity. Knowing how to handle this without resorting to flattery or aggression is a priority.

Fear of hurting others. Not knowing how to express your anger or differences of opinion without using insults or sharp criticism. Fear of not having the resources to get out of manipulation…

These are just a few examples of things that destroy your self-esteem by not being determined and quick to act, not defending your rights.

It does not happen overnight. But determination can be learned and trained. And we can only use it effectively when we understand it. Let’s take a look at some strategies that certain people use when resolving conflicts.

Certain people have a reason to live

We can call this dignity, self-esteem or self-love. We all need to be clear about what really matters to us. We need to protect these things from wind and storms. These define us, they are our reason to live, and no one of us offends them.

We have our values ​​and no one should step on them. We have a story, and no one is allowed to attack or mock it. And we have the right to have opinions, passions, freedom and cohesion in life. These things are our reasons for being.

2. Speaking in the first person without fear

We are afraid to use the word “I” and express ourselves. “I think, I think, it’s my opinion, I need…” When certain people resolve conflicts, they are not afraid to use the pronoun “I”. They do not hide or dilute it.

Do not be afraid to say things like: “I feel hurt, and even if I understand your position, you must understand that I am offended by your attitude because you have not respected my rights. I think we can sort things out between us if we speak with more honesty and respect. “

3. They do not walk like the cat around hot porridge

When solving problems and dealing with conflicts or misunderstandings, the last thing you want to do is walk like a cat around hot porridge, make accusations, scold the other person or just talk about how bad you feel.

You have to be direct, concise and constructive, as determined people are. To do this, focus on the problem: “I feel disappointed because you did not have my opinion in mind. I believe that if we are a team, you should communicate with me. ”

Certain persons make clear, direct inquiries

Effective and determined communication sometimes means making inquiries. They should guide the two people who have a conflict against an agreement. It is not enough to say how you feel. Direct the dialogue or quarrel towards a constructive end.

For example:

• “I do not like to be shouted at, it makes me feel bad. I ask you to use a less aggressive tone next time. Please communicate things with me in a normal tone. ”
• “I feel disappointed because you did not tell me your idea. In the future, I would keep that in mind. That way we can all work together. ”

5. Accept that sometimes you do not agree

Certain people understand that conflicts or misunderstandings do not always end or end with agreements. Often the differences remain obvious and continue to separate the two positions, the two attitudes, the two behaviors.

This should not make you feel unprofitable and not make you more angry. Certain people have good emotional management that allows them to accept these situations. At the end of the day , people can not be forced to agree on everything and see things from the same perspective.

The key is to know how to respect the perspectives of others.

If a conflict does not end well and the other person does not want to suggest solutions – you may even be offended and opposed – then you should keep your distance. Do not fall into a dynamic that is useless. Stay calm and get away from the problem.

We often hear is the middle ground between going down on one’s knees and crushing one’s opponent. Certain people get to know themselves a little more with each passing day, and are therefore more adept at defending themselves without attacking.

They win creatively and resolve conflicts as well as daily problems effectively.