The Importance Of Values in A Relationship
All relationships are different, but having the same values in a relationship can make the relationship better and make it flow smoothly in a healthy and constructive way. If you as a couple determine which values should apply, this can lay the foundation for a stable and well-functioning relationship.
How to define a pair? In this context, a couple consists of two individuals who live in a loving and more or less formal relationship. What are values? Values are the positive qualities or virtues that all people have, which make a person stand out from others and which drive him to act in accordance with his beliefs. Values can affect people’s interests and behaviors.
Values in a relationship
A study conducted by Medina et al. (2005) state that both men and women are looking for someone with similar needs as themselves, someone who agrees well with them and has common characteristics.
According to various theories about our choice of life partner, people are looking for someone with values that are reminiscent of their own (Centers, 1975). Therefore, they choose a partner who shares their economic, cultural and social attributes (Rice, 1997).
To share common life projects
When you decide to maintain certain values in a relationship, you lay the foundation for the things you need to work on and improve.
The behaviors and expectations that characterize the individual and that relate to the relationship form part of the beliefs and social values of the parties involved (Kaminsky, 1981).
The process of socialization may change over time, as values and social norms can reasonably be expected to change. Therefore, it is normal for people’s beliefs and behaviors to change as well (Díaz-Guerrero, 2003). Thus, changes occur in the relationship with respect to expectations, values and behaviors (García-Meráz, 2007). In this way, new parameters are created, which are affected by the couple’s social environment (Snyder & Stukas, 1999).
Working together to improve a relationship
To establish values in a relationship requires a joint effort. As we have previously pointed out, all people are different. Therefore, each couple’s values will have a different character. However, there are some basic values that most couples share. These values are love, loyalty, mutual support, generosity, mutual respect and communication.
Values about love in a relationship
There are many different kinds of love, but all have the same core. To say to someone that you love her is not the same as saying that you desire her. These nuances develop from the passion stage, to the anchored love and then to the cohabitation stage. Love also includes the surprise of discovering the other person, falling in love and reaching a plateau of steady, long-lasting and lasting love.
Loyalty
Loyalty depends on the couple and their agreement. Each couple decides on a specific form of commitment. Some couples are strictly monogamous, while others are not. If the agreements are complied with, there is loyalty.
Support
Feeling supported, knowing that the other person will not let you down and that he or she will look after your main interests, is something that makes you feel braver and less vulnerable.
This is wonderful, because it makes you feel strong enough to face any situation. It is about showing empathy for your partner, trying to understand him or her more or better and giving proof of your support and your unconditional love.
Generosity
It can be hard to believe, but sometimes couples show more selfishness than generosity. Some may find it difficult to be generous with their partner and only know how to look after themselves and their own needs and desires, even though this does not resonate with others.
But living in a relationship means more than that. And there are different ways to be a generous lover. The best thing is to not only think about yourself, but to sit in your partner’s seat and try to understand his / her point of view, even if you have a different opinion.
Values about respect in a relationship
Mutual respect is an extremely important value in a relationship. Both parties must be on the same level.
It is a matter of giving space to both oneself and the relationship. Respect is also about fully accepting the other person, without trying to change him / her.
Communication
In a good relationship, communication is determined, unhindered and reliable. Satire (1988) defines definite communication as the ability to express oneself in a direct, sincere and respectful way.
In other words, good communication with your partner means that you both must commit to sharing each other’s disagreements, achievements, failures, goals, needs, and so on. So try to develop your ability to do this. Good communication leads to healthy bonds, mutual respect, affection, love and commitment.