Neighbor Harassment Can Have Serious Consequences

Today we want to talk about neighbor harassment and the consequences this behavior can have. The term “harassment” is relatively common in our daily lives.

For example, we all know that many children are bullied at school at some point. It can also happen at home.

Then we have the concept of “collective persecution”, when a group of people fight together against someone in a certain environment. But what about neighboring harassment?

What we are trying to achieve is that hostility, aggression and even violence are unfortunately common phenomena in this world.

Nor are our neighborhoods and apartment buildings always spared from these, even though we prefer to get along with our neighbors.

By neighbor harassment we mean in principle such cases where one or more neighbors harass another neighbor in a persistent and frequent manner.

It is about more than banal quarrels about living conditions, and if anything it is rather reminiscent of bullying.

This is mainly why victims of neighborhood harassment often experience similar psychological effects as victims of bullying and abuse.

Many other symptoms include low self-esteem, constant fear and anxiety, desperation, depression and even suicidal thoughts.

In fact, this is a problem that can have such serious consequences that there are in fact laws that can be applied, and in some cases these are criminal acts that are punishable.

Different stages of neighbor harassment

Neighboring harassment can take many forms and takes place in different stages. You should not wait until all these stages have been completed before taking action. On the contrary, you should report it as soon as the harassment begins.

• The stage of conflict. Neighbor harassment almost always begins with a disagreement that two or more neighbors fail to resolve. A common example is when a person has a dog that barks all day and disturbs a neighbor.
• The prelude to the harassment. It is at this stage that people actively begin to harass neighbors with whom they have come into conflict. This can be something as simple as not greeting them in the elevator or whispering comments about them in their presence.

At this stage, it is common for both the perpetrator and the victim of the harassment to deny that something is not right. But this only means that they deny reality.

If you do not stop the actions, the hostility and harassment will only continue.

• External intervention. This is when the situation becomes widely known and outside organizations or individuals begin to intervene to try to solve the problem.
• Marginalization, flight or exclusion. In this last phase, the victim may feel that she has to leave her home, sell it or something similar. If this is not possible, she will often do everything she can to avoid bumping into her neighbor. It can e.g. mean she takes the stairs to avoid seeing the neighbor in the elevator.

Over time, the sufferer will feel completely exhausted. It is very stressful not to feel relaxed and secure in your own neighborhood and in your home environment.

What can be done about it on a psychological level

In these situations, it is very important to start working psychologically with the problem, whether it is the victim, the perpetrator or both.

Another important step you can take is to practice communicating in a clear and definite way.

It is best to start working on this as soon as the harassment occurs, in the initial stages of the conflict.

In that situation, it is still the conflict itself that is the problem, and this is an excellent opportunity to learn to communicate based on respect and empathy.

To return to our previous example: if someone has a dog that barks all day and a neighbor complains, they must try to meet in the middle and reach an agreement.

The dog owner should first apologize to the neighbor and promise to do what he can to prevent it from happening again.

He should learn how to prevent the dog from barking (by training the dog, not leaving it alone, giving it toys to keep busy with, etc.).

As for the complaining neighbor, who will probably be the one to commit harassment if the problem is not remedied, he needs to become more flexible.

He must realize that some people have pets that they can not just get rid of because they bother the neighbors. As long as the skull is not excessively disturbing, he should be able to accept it.

And if you can not agree?

If the neighbors can reach an agreement where one tries to be flexible and tolerant and the other strives to find a solution, the situation will probably not lead to harassment.

But if either party adopts a defensive attitude, there is a great risk that the conflict will escalate and that the situation will be much worse than it was from the beginning.

If the harassment has already begun, it is essential that the victim turns to a therapist for help with his or her self-confidence and self-esteem.

The therapist will probably recommend that the patient try to weaken the neighbor’s behavior and avoid engaging in discussions with him or reacting to his insults and humiliations.

But this only applies if the harassment is verbal. Should any physical aggression arise, you must immediately report it.

If a weakening of the neighbor’s behavior works, it simply means that he gets tired of carrying out his harassment.

If none of this helps and if the harassment has been going on for a long time, it may actually be time to consider moving.

This is not a frivolous piece of advice – it should be seen as a last resort. Keep in mind that the landlord may be able to help you by talking to the neighbor or even evicting him if the harassment does not stop.

If you choose to move, it is important not to fall into the same trap and you do best to first introduce yourself to all your new neighbors.

Then you can in passing mention that you have a dog, play the piano in the afternoons, have a baby who cries at night or what special conditions you live under, so that the neighbors know what to expect.