Manipulation Is Not Love

When we say things like “if you’re not jealous, it’s not true love”, “if he really loves me he does not need to spend time with anyone else” or “love” means guessing what the other person wants and needs “So it ends up that we are dealing with an unfair and degrading situation to maintain a love bond that is mostly not genuine.

Love, like almost everything else in life, is deserved. And sometimes we learn it the wrong way. The romantic idea of ​​love these days does not do much to help relationships. The value of healthy love relationships is quite the opposite compared to the values ​​of passionate, all-or-nothing love.

Love is one of the most powerful emotions in the world and each person adds their own personal qualities to it, as well as ideas that are not always true. The vast majority of relationship problems come from high unrealistic demands on the relationship or on one’s partner. These misguided ideas of passionate love can ruin the relationship, even if the two people fit well together.

Properties of manipulation

Manipulation occurs when a person exercises control over another person’s behavior. To do so, he uses techniques to convince and remove or verify another person’s judgment. Mental manipulation can be a form of selfishness.

Manipulators often use their partners shamelessly, with the narcissistic goal of gaining more power or getting what they want. They can also use lies, seduction and even threats to destabilize the victim. Manipulative people control situations that will cause others to behave in a way that they can benefit from. If they are really good at it, the people they manipulate will not even understand what is happening.

The people who probably run the greatest risk of being manipulated by their partners are those who tend to have low self-esteem and who feel inferior. External factors can affect the effectiveness of this manipulation and can include the loss of a loved one, a breakup, divorce or the loss of a job.

How to recognize a manipulator

Knowing how to recognize a manipulator will save you a lot of frustration in your daily life. If your partner can not take “no” in response, and you notice that the person does not react as he usually does – or if he completely loses control – when you resist his attempt to convince you, then this is a sign that the person does not tolerate that he can not influence you.

People who manipulate their partners love to show off their strengths, and are usually not shy. They tend to blame others when they do not get what they want. They do not care what they can offer or how they can help other people. Instead, they are constantly focused on themselves and they do not see the meaning of the word reciprocity.

They always talk about themselves, and if they ever ask how you are, they are not really that interested. When you give in to them, you usually get no thanks, and they just want more and more. These people tend to be very insecure, but they try to present themselves as the opposite, and use self-centered and dominant attitudes to hide their fears.

The first step towards correcting a manipulative situation is to become aware that you are being manipulated. Understanding that you are being manipulated by someone you love and that you are their doll can create great emotional shocks.

There are different ways you can solve this problem. One way is to end the relationship if it is not possible for your partner to change this behavior. Another possibility is to get him to learn to ask for things directly, instead of indirectly trying to get you to see things from his point of view without actually showing his cards or expressing his true feelings. Interestingly, people who want control over others cannot even control themselves.