Jealousy Over The Past
Jealous of your partner’s past… Do you know what I’m talking about? Have you had this feeling? Or has your partner felt this? The jealousy that many people suffer from that is not only based on the here and now, but on your partner’s past.
As if the uncertainties of the present were not enough, your partner’s past turns out to be a hurricane that completely destroys your peace, your peace of mind and inner security. And it does not arise suddenly by itself, but many times you search for this. You look for it in every detail from stories and relationships that your partner has experienced before the person was with you.
The details are never specific enough for that green monster who is thirsty for more information and who is chased by jealousy. It’s like a kind of tip where everything goes in, where everything is welcome. It is not enough to know your partner’s past relationships. You need to know every little detail about them.
Jealous of the past or that hungry jealous monster who never gets enough
One of the obsessions is knowing what that former partner looked like physically. How he was, how he treated your partner, how he made your partner feel… Many people probably ask themselves, why? Is it some form of masochism? A “logical” mind would have thought “Why do you want to find out things about your partner’s past?”
“The past is the past. You do not have to worry about this. And if your partner wants to go back to the past? Yes, then let the person go back. You already know what to do in that case. ” You may have heard these words from a friend before. You’ve probably heard them from that rational person trying to put filters and boundaries on your mental and emotional mess.
Your insecurity is the basis of all your jealousy
Somehow you develop a need to be the only person in your partner’s life. But what is behind the desire to want to be the only person in the other person’s life? Under all this we find an uncertainty. The person’s own self-esteem has been reduced. The person has a need to look for an external security in the outside world that he does not find within himself. Something that completely destabilizes people.
We are desperately looking for information that will confirm that we are the only person in the other person’s life. The most amazing and special in the world. And for some reason, this person has had a “life” outside of us before the person met us.
This addiction is a consequence of this brutal insecurity. If my foundation is broken, I will desperately look for something external to support. I will seek out that person who will be like a mirror. Someone to talk to about everything I can not see and appreciate in myself. And I will hold on to this mirror until I reach a point of mental and emotional toxicity.
We are dependent on others because we have never learned to take care of ourselves
Everything is ok when it comes to achieving my goal. Because think what a fantastic goal it is. It’s not just a small insignificant goal. This means that you stay alive at all costs. That you do not disappear. Not letting that insecurity you feel eat away at you until you stop existing. And if I have to cling to something, I will do it, because if I do not, I will disappear and it will end up with me not being anyone at all.
Being jealous of your partner’s past is a very common problem. We should pay attention to this. It is pointless to compare yourself with others, because we are all different. Appreciate and love based on these experiences. But start from the root and look at the whole situation with clarity. Do not let yourself be blinded by arguments that eat up your emotional health. Really take care of yourself. It’s hard not to feel jealous of your partner’s past. This means that we are fighting against a titan that has settled in our deepest interior.
