How To Release Negative Memories

During life, we experience painful situations or relationships that we then carry with us. We do not seem to be able to get rid of these negative memories and they determine our behavior and way of life. These painful situations can range from the loss of a loved one to a broken heart or failure at work.

But if you stop for a second, you will realize that you experience many beautiful and enjoyable experiences on a daily basis. A kiss from a child, a conversation from someone you haven’t talked to in a while, your favorite candy, your favorite book…

Life flies by at incredible speed, and that speed makes us forget important, daily moments. It is good to value these moments and try to remember the feeling they produced, to be able to relive them again when negative memories surprise us.

How can we forget sad or negative memories?

Various researchers from the universities of Birmingham and Cambridge published a study in March in the journal Nature Neuroscience. In this study, they explained how they managed to isolate the brain mechanisms with which we remember and forget things.

A magnetic X-ray was used to measure the brain activity of a group of volunteers. They were asked to remember pictures previously shown to them. Through this technique, they were able to determine on a neuronal level which images would and should not be forgotten.

Dr. Michael Anderson, one of the researchers behind the study, confirms this: “People are used to thinking of forgetfulness as something passive. Our study shows that people are more involved than they think in shaping what they remember and do not remember. The idea that remembering can make you forget something is surprising. This can tell us more about selective memory and even self-deception. ”

Therefore, it is actually we who control what we remember and forget. For this reason, we encourage you to follow these three simple steps to control your negative memories.

1. Accept

We must be aware that we cannot change the past. But we can change the present and the future. So live in the present by accepting your past and leaving it behind if it causes you pain. Prepare a future free from all guilt to enjoy every unique moment.

2. Learn

No matter how negative they may be, our memories always contain homework. Reflect on these homework provided by the past. You can even write them down to remember. This will help you relate negative or sad memories with useful lessons for the future.

3. Forgive

Forgive others and especially yourself. We always have new moments to experience, so sorry and move on. We all make mistakes, and it’s useless to martyr yourself over them.

Next are three simple techniques to help you forget the memories that sometimes attack you.

One of the simplest and most useful resources is writing. Writing is deeply therapeutic. You can get all the negative things out of your mind by writing about them. Write automatically; everything you come up with. Do not stop to think and let the letters flow on the paper. In the end, you will realize that you are feeling better.

In his book The Manual to not Die from Love, the Argentine psychologist Walter Riso proposes a technique for forgetting his ex called “Stop Technique”. This consists of saying “STOP!” loud every time you start thinking about the memories of your ex. This will let you put a stop to these thoughts. They will be disorganized and give you respite. It is not infallible, but just as Riso says, it will help.

Finally, a very useful technique for relaxing and controlling our thoughts, memories and emotions is something called conscious presence. Conscious presence can be defined as a meditation technique that consists of having full attention to the present moment. Without judging, with acceptance and curiosity.

On the other hand , meditation is an intellectual exercise where the goal is to reach a state of concentration. Whether it is on a thought, an object or ourselves through breathing. There are different meditation techniques. Some practice concentration, while others, such as conscious presence, practice full awareness.

The practice of conscious presence shows us that a state of full attention and awareness can help us reduce stress. It can make us more creative and value situations with higher objectivity. This in turn helps us to better enjoy what we do and exercise resistance to our emotions.

Therefore, you should leave your negative memories behind. Follow the path of your life and enjoy it to the fullest!