How To Get Over The Habit Of Feeling Offended

Some people have created an art of feeling offended by everything. Who has not reacted disproportionately to something that was not important at least ever? Why is this happening? What makes you give in to the “enemy” who said or did something you do not like?

For some reason, human judgment disappears under certain circumstances and the most primitive and emotional part of the brain takes over. If you think about it logically, you are aware that you have exaggerated your interpretation of the situation. So why can you not control yourself sometimes?

The habit of feeling violated can cause a lot of pain. It makes you think that others are out to hurt, humiliate or underestimate you. Thus, you are kept in a constant state of readiness. In addition, this extreme sensitivity affects your relationships with other people. It either makes them tense, breaks them down or simply creates misery for everyone involved. So what can you do about it?

To feel offended

Under no circumstances should you allow anyone to injure or humiliate you. In fact, there are many situations where there really is an underlying insult, violation or aggression. Thus, it is logical and even healthy to in some situations become defensive and defend their integrity. However, there are many cases where a person did not intend to offend you. Thus, you need to learn when not to overreact.

Main factors

These variables may to some extent explain what is behind hypersensitivity:

• Trauma during childhood. Everyone experiences situations that leave their mark during the first years of life. Lise Bourbeau describes five such injuries in her work. This is why the memories and pain appear and magnify a given situation when someone touches a wound that has not healed. You are not really offended by what this one has done or said to you; they just brought an old pain from your memory.

• Lack of self-esteem. People who are easy to insult often have low self-esteem. Their inner feelings of inferiority cause them to try to hide it in every way possible. Thus, their defensive and fragile self-esteem does not withstand an attack, even if it is not real. Sensitivity would otherwise be exposed.
• Stiffness. Characteristics such as cognitive inflexibility or dichotomous thinking offend some people. Those who feel that others should be and act in a certain way often judge everything they do or say. They may therefore be supported by a stupid joke because they think it is inappropriate to react with humor.
• Habit. Repeating a behavior or thought pattern only increases the likelihood of it being repeated again. Repetition strengthens the associated neural connections and some reactions become automatic. Thus, it can be a habit for some people to feel offended and it is difficult for them to find other cognitive ways to interpret information.

How to stop feeling offended

The most important thing you need to understand is that no one can offend you unless you give them permission to do so. You can not control how others speak or behave. Thus, you only have control over how you react. Therefore, do not jump on anyone without thinking and be basically careful about what you actually perceive as offensive.

Of course, some attacks are clearly intentional and even harmful. Then stand up for yourself and respectfully defend your rights. Leave a relationship if you have to but not before analyzing the correctness of your interpretation. Do your best to see what it looks like through a different lens than your own wounds and imperfections.

Therefore, get out of the habit of feeling offended. Get used to looking for and using other cognitive pathways. Do not make assumptions and ask questions instead. Often your sensitivity leads you to expect the worst and see negative intentions where there are none.

Be more flexible about how you interpret what others say or do during their interaction with you to avoid conflicts. It will improve your human relationships and also your mental health. Test! Peace of mind is often healthier than proving that you are right.