Giving Good Care Is Not Easy
One day, your parents will not be able to do everything themselves. The people who have seemed invulnerable have now reached a stage where you have to take care of them. And all of a sudden you are forced to provide good care, even if you never thought this would happen.
But you love them and they have given you so much, so how can you not give good care when they need you?
After all the sacrifices they have made to give you a good life… In fact, you get anxiety and are frustrated about having to be in this situation. Does this mean you are a bad daughter or son?
The stress of providing good care
Suddenly having to take care of someone who cannot take care of themselves can mean a lot of stress.
On the one hand, we are met by a close relative who is no longer the same person. We see how problems arise. Behavioral and memory problems and also physical and mental degradation.
And so we must constantly keep an eye on them. We need to control their food intake and personal hygiene.
And all this may not be so nice, so we get annoyed that we have to do it. So we do it apathetically and not so badly well.
And stress does not end here. It also extends to other areas of our lives. We may have problems at work, problems with money, relationships or the family.
The cost of providing good care
It is normal to feel negative emotions such as anxiety, anger or sadness, or even guilt because you feel that the situation is too much for you.
You feel guilty about wanting to be somewhere else where you do not have to deal with this. These things clash with our moral obligations to care for our elderly.
On the other hand, it can also undermine our relationships. This can mean that we do not have time to be with other people, or that we create conflicts when we take it out on them. Thus begins the downward spiral.
On a physical level, there can be endless things to do. It can range from various psychophysiological problems (ie physiological diseases caused or exacerbated by emotional and psychological factors) to problems related to the actual act of caring for someone, such as moving the person from one place to another.
What can help us ease the burden of providing good care?
Nowadays, there are many who take care of their elderly. Why do we not all suffer from the psychological, social and physical problems we have been looking at?
Because everyone’s resources and situations are different, just like when it comes to other psychological disorders.
Strategies for confronting stress are extremely important to protect us from breaking down. It is not so much about what happens, but about what we do and how we deal with it.
Getting caught up in self-pity about how bad we feel or trying to avoid the situation will not help us.
Looking for the best solution and acting without fear will be much better. Who does not make mistakes? And do not you remember that this is how we learn?
But in addition to how a person handles a situation, there are other things that can be very helpful. We are talking about social support.
Ask for help from your friends regarding various tasks. It can simplify your burden. Take care of yourself so you can take care of others!
Photos: Jake Thacker, JD Mason and Cathal Mac An Bheatha.
