Five Truths That Emotionally Mature People Understand

Emotionally mature people know that life is not always easy or fair. They therefore do not hold anyone else responsible for their happiness or suffering. Nor do they expect anyone else to help them achieve greater well-being. They are only responsible for their own decisions. They are the architects when it comes to every step and decision they make.

The concept of emotional maturity is one of the foundations of Albert Ellis’ theories. For those who do not know the father of cognitive-behavioral therapy, he is one of the most prominent figures in psychology.

He wrote over 80 books and 1,800 articles, trained more than 200 therapists and created an institute bearing his name. This institute teaches people to identify, challenge and replace negative perceptions with healthier varieties. These healthy thoughts promote prosperity and emotional maturity so that people can achieve their goals.

It is important to have the necessary tools to facilitate personal development as a human being. These principles, which we will discuss next, contain the essence of Albert Ellis’ work: to make suffering more manageable.

Many of us would like to change the past. We would like to complete a chapter, read about it and decide to delete certain paragraphs so that the story has a clearer meaning. Whether we believe it or not, life is sometimes meaningless. Unexplained things happen that we feel compelled to accept.

Emotionally mature people have learned that they can not change others. The reason for this is that you can not wait for others to behave as you want or say what you want them to say. All this leads to unnecessary suffering.

Bertrand Malle, a cognitive psychologist at Brown University, conducted a study in 2004 to analyze the relationship between happiness and the way in which personal responsibility is understood. Believing that what happens to us is in the hands of others causes discomfort. It’s like living like an ostrich and hiding your head in the sand while blaming the world for your own mistakes.

Of course, we do not have control over every aspect of our reality. However, we can choose how we want to react to what is happening. That’s the important thing.

Emotionally mature people allow themselves to change. Change means that you grow and adjust after you have learned something.

Growing often means leaving certain things and people behind to reduce the burden that limits us and erodes our self-worth and well-being. This means that you are brave and make clear decisions. You need to understand that your potential lies in making periodic changes.

We need an emotional compass during every journey in life. It should always direct us to a path where fear does not weigh us down the worst, where we do not have anxiety and where our nerves do not make us slow down.

Emotionally mature people have learned to deal with emotional states that have unpleasant consequences. They learn from every experience. Your emotional compass must be well calibrated. You can achieve this with the help of experience and by being more aware of internal states, irrational thoughts and the emotions that bring out the worst in you.

Emotionally mature people are not obsessed with searching for love. They do not avoid it, but they do not need it either. If there is one thing they understand, it is the emotional development that matters most. The important thing is that you continue to learn together with someone who enriches your life, someone who does not trample on your emotional values, but instead helps you expand them.

The only type of love that suits emotionally mature people is a balanced love that lets everyone follow their goals. They prefer solitude over unhealthy relationships. Personal well-being is more important to them.

You should know that no one enters this world as an emotionally mature person. It is something we learn over time.