Gaslighting: A Subtle And Vicious Form Of Abuse

Has anyone ever made you think you were crazy? That what you say never happened? When someone makes you doubt your judgment or question what you think has happened, you may feel very confused or depressed. However, you may be exposed to what is called “gaslighting”.

It is a very effective manipulation strategy that some use to exploit others and make them suffer. It is a very vicious and subtle form of abuse.

The term “gaslighting” is not random, but comes from a film called Gaslight , which went by the name Gaslight in Sweden. In it, the main character makes his wife think she’s going crazy and has to see a psychologist.

His manipulation has a purpose: to steal her fortune. Gaslighting is true torture for anyone who has been the victim of this cruel scam.

Although we may not be familiar with the term before, gaslighting is more common than we think. It is a weapon for manipulators, and with it they can make a victim go crazy or do as they say. Do you need examples? The following may sound familiar.

Imagine that someone tells their partner she feels hurt during a specific conversation. The other person says that he does not remember it, that she invents it and that he would never say so. Although she may question this, the manipulator has just planted something very important: a seed of doubt.

This is followed by a series of circumstances that will remind the victim of the occasion when his partner said that things were not as she thought. In all similar situations, the manipulator will say that she is exaggerating, that she is lying, that her extreme sensitivity is causing problems, etc.

The seed will germinate and begin to grow. Slowly but surely, the other person begins to believe that she is actually exaggerating things.

In extreme cases, the person committing this type of abuse can hide objects and constantly make the other person believe that she is wrong and that her memory is not to be trusted. The motive behind this can be to control the other person, to feel power, to inflict damage or to fulfill a specific purpose, as in the movie “Gas Light”.

This is a clear example of a toxic relationship. In relationships like these, the victim becomes extremely insecure, constantly doubts what she thinks is true and becomes completely dependent on the opinions of others.

Is it difficult to leave this type of situation? Of course, just as it is difficult to leave all situations where a person is willing to manipulate us. However, it is not impossible.

It is important to keep some key strategies in mind when attempting gaslighting with us. They can help us open our eyes and escape from situations like the one we describe above.

The first of these strategies is to trust your intuition. When we feel that something strange is going on, as if something is not really right, we should not believe everything the person says. Our instinct speaks to us and we must listen. Our intuition is usually at least as “reasonable” as the other person.

The second key strategy is not to seek the other person’s approval. This is something we often do because of low self-esteem or because we need acceptance. But if our instinct already says something is wrong, we should not believe someone who says that a specific conversation never took place.

The third strategy is to maintain our borders. If the other person shouts at us, if she uses hurtful words or if we notice that she is trying to exploit us for her own benefit, we must say something and not just let it go.

We can not let anyone cross our borders, otherwise we will reinforce the perception that she can do it with impunity. Our limits should be insurmountable. Once we give in, there is no turning back, and the psychological manipulator will take advantage of that opportunity.

We may doubt ourselves, but in that case the best option is to independently seek evidence. Gaslighting is a strategy that reaches the conviction that we experience a different reality than what an objective observer would describe. Our thoughts therefore become obsessed, which reinforces this perception.

It is important to distance ourselves from people who make us feel so bad. From a distance, we can analyze the situation from a new perspective, far from manipulation. Agreeing with the other person when she makes us doubt ourselves gives her the power to destroy us.