Social Anxiety: When Fear Controls Your Relationships
Fear is a very powerful and sometimes necessary force. It is the feeling that tells you when there is something threatening in your vicinity so that you can react. A zebra that is not afraid of the creeping predator is a zebra without a great chance of survival. But sometimes fear becomes an obstacle, such as social anxiety.
Anxiety is an intense feeling of worry and fear caused by stimuli that are not really threats. Phobias are a prime example of this.
Spiders, snakes, small spaces, heights… There are endless amounts of stimuli that people react to with irrational fear. Even relationships with other people can activate this type of fear in some people, and that is precisely what is social anxiety, or social phobia.
Social anxiety, or social phobia, is when people experience intense symptoms of anxiety when they are in social situations. They have an irrational fear of being judged, humiliated or mocked.
A person with social anxiety can not interact with others or easily perform group activities. It does not matter if it is at work, at a party or when you play sports. And acting in front of others makes them suffer; it can be about talking on the phone, asking for the bill or eating.
A person with social anxiety has an intense fear of interacting with other people.
Although many people perceive it as shyness, the truth is that social anxiety is something completely different. A shy person feels ashamed and sometimes even scared, but in a very easy way. A certain amount of shyness is actually normal for most people.
But someone who suffers from social anxiety will experience symptoms of anxiety and fear that are much more intense and paralyzing.
The physical symptoms experienced by someone with social anxiety can include redness, sweating a lot, dizziness and tremors. It can go as far as causing nausea, gastrointestinal problems, tachycardia and anxiety attacks.
And these symptoms do not just appear in the moment when the social interaction takes place. One of the characteristics of this condition is excessive expectation, which causes people to live in a state of anxiety for weeks before an event they have to confront.
The problem is that anxiety often causes these people to avoid situations that scare them, just like other phobias. In this way, they end up in a vicious circle where the main goal is to avoid interaction with others.
Social anxiety makes life much worse for the sufferer. It makes it harder to find jobs, friends, partners and other experiences. And by avoiding a situation that can trigger their anxiety, they reinforce the fear and increase its power. The only way to get over a fear is to confront it.
It is possible to overcome social anxiety, but just like with other anxiety disorders, the journey is long and requires dedication and strength. Acknowledging and accepting the problem is the first step, but in most cases it is vital to seek the help of an expert.
Below are some key points that can help you confront and manage social anxiety.
To be aware of the problem
Knowing what is going on with you is the first step to work on. It is also important that you know that you are not the problem – you are just suffering from a problem. We all have our weaknesses and moments of triumph, as well as strengths and weaknesses. We all have the right to be nervous and make mistakes. What is important is to be on the path to recovery.
Working on self-esteem and self-acceptance is vital when it comes to overcoming social anxiety. This is because it connects you with your essence so that you can get to know yourself better. And that way, it will be easier to accept what is happening to you.
To confront the fear a little at a time
Taking action is another indispensable step. The important thing when it comes to overcoming a phobia is to confront what scares you. But you have to do it a little at a time. You can start by practicing in safer environments, such as family gatherings, with a friend, or in small groups.
Another way to move forward is to find out your personal challenges. If you are afraid to eat among people, you can try to pack a lunch until you can finally sit in the park and eat it. If you are afraid to take part in a course, sign up for an activity with fewer people and try to interact a little.
If you are afraid of confronting other people’s opinions, you can start by debating something with a friendly family member.
The key is to start a little at a time and move towards situations that give you the most anxiety. Keeping track of your steps forward is really good motivation.
Learning to deal with anxiety
Finding your own ways to process anxiety will be very helpful. For example, you can exercise, meditate or learn relaxation techniques… The less anxiety you feel, the easier it will be to deal with it during your most difficult moments.
To seek professional help
If you feel that you can not move forward on your own or that you need outside support, do not hesitate to talk to an expert. It has been proven that cognitive behavioral therapy and the development of social skills as well as tools for anxiety management can help you overcome social anxiety.
As you can see, social anxiety is a restrictive problem that weakens relationships. But you can get over it slowly but surely if you make an effort. Above all, you have to gather courage to give it a try!
