People Who Talk And Talk And Talk … About Themselves
Initially, they may seem like the friendliest people in the world. They tend to be social, good at conversation and have attractive personalities. But over time, you begin to feel that the people in question become something of a burden: they talk too much, and almost always about themselves. They tell the same stories over and over again. They are the type of people who feel authorized to talk about all topics, even if they know nothing about them. And no one can keep them quiet.
After talking to this person, you feel as if you have wasted your time. Because in the end it was not a conversation, but instead a kind of sparring match in a long monologue. It is therefore likely that you will come up with an excuse to avoid further conversation with this person.
People who talk too much about themselves have not established a clear boundary between themselves and their surroundings. Their narcissistic personality prevents them from realizing that they are not the center of the world. This is why they think it is normal for every conversation to revolve around them.
In fact, the idea is not even with them that their talking can bore others. And if they get this told to them, they will assume that the problem lies with the other person.
Their exaggerated need for attention to be focused on them comes from subconscious insecurities. They feel satisfied if they can get others to listen to them all the time. They perceive this as proof of their own worth. This type of person fails to find harmony with what other people want. Instead, they constantly revolve around their own needs.
People who talk non-stop obviously have a great need to be heard or listened to. However, it is very possible that they have nothing to say at all. Talking to other people distracts them from their own inner dialogue, which we all have within ourselves. They do not want to listen to themselves, but only to be heard by others. They look at themselves through other people.
Some people always talk about themselves to bring inventory over their suffering. They do not ask for your help nor will they accept your advice. They assume that you should simply act considerately towards them. Others do the opposite: they tell a series of stories to prove how amazing they are. They talk about their thousands of daily actions and are always waiting for a “wow!” from you.
Some will talk to you about their problems to ask you for guidance. It’s like you were their private, free therapist. They never ask how you are or if you are going through difficulties. They just assume that their problems are more serious than yours and that it is your duty to listen and offer advice.
Regardless, a genuine conversation has never taken place. It is more about a form of manipulation through words. You participate in a strange type of game with them, where you can sometimes even feel obligated to stay. Obliged to listen to them, praise them or feel sympathy for them. But your bond with these people is not authentic. It exists in the shadow of the feeling that ” something is not right”.
It is good for you to at some point, and in a friendly way, express how positive a conversation can be when there is a chance to speak as well as listen. It is also good if you invite them to talk about other topics.
Although it is not impossible to interact with these people, as they occasionally return to being the friendly people you got to know, it is a must to set boundaries. If you feel that it affects you, that it makes you uncomfortable or that it releases feelings of guilt or emptiness, it is best for you to move away.
