The Importance Of Being Compassionate With Oneself

Being compassionate with oneself is not about selfishness. Every individual has the right to exercise self-care that enables him to forgive old and new mistakes, get comfort in difficult times or to treat himself with respect. Since few are born with this ability, it is important to learn how to cultivate it.

In Decamerone , Boccaccio wrote that nothing makes people more human than to feel compassion for those around them. Somehow, both culturally and socially, we have been imprinted with the idea that this dimension always goes from the inside out. It is true that it is good to feel empathy for those who suffer, because it makes us nobler, wiser. However, there is an equally important detail that many do not think about.

Compassion must also be projected towards oneself. Doing so is healthy, healing and even necessary. Some define it as a kind of healthy narcissism. Whatever it is, this psychological realm goes far beyond self-love; it gives support, energy and meaning to life. Let’s go a little deeper into this topic.

Being compassionate with oneself: the key to psychological well-being

It is one thing to love oneself, and another to love oneself well and as one deserves. Not all self-love is healthy because there are many exaggerated egos and self-concepts that position one in a harmful narcissism where no one else exists or is important in the world. In the same way in everyday life, it is quite common to see individuals treat themselves without the affection and respect they should have for themselves.

Walking through the world with substandard self-esteem makes one vulnerable to the shadows of depression and other psychological problems. On the other hand, men and women who cannot control negative guilt and harmful self-criticism are often forced to face mental suffering in the end. They miss opportunities, create unhappy relationships and rarely achieve personal fulfillment.

Being compassionate with oneself is not a weakness. Sometimes it is difficult for us to accept this feeling because we associate compassion with compassion, with a feeling that is often empty, passive and places itself somewhere between sadness and tenderness towards something or someone.

This is very sad. The truth is that most people have distorted this dimension to a point where they are uncomfortable when they experience it. Therefore, it is necessary to reformulate everything and give it the meaning it deserves.

The importance of being compassionate with oneself

Kristin Neff has defined the term self-compassion and described its usefulness for psychological well-being. According to her research work, this construction corresponds to the practice of mindfulness. Before pseudo-scientific concepts like these scare you away, you should remember that scientific studies support the psychological benefits that come with showing compassion for oneself.

To be compassionate with oneself is above all to accept the imperfection of mankind. It is to understand that people are not perfect, that we make mistakes and to learn to answer them with kindness and affection. There are many reasons why this should be developed:

• A study from Duke University (USA) shows an interesting thing: people who apply self-compassion in their daily lives have good emotional intelligence and feel more satisfied with life.
• In addition, self-compassion has also been shown to correlate with a lower incidence of depression and anxiety. This is a relevant fact that is worth considering.
• Those who can be respectful and affectionate with themselves in difficult moments form a non-judgmental internal dialogue, one that does not criticize and that allows them to accept themselves as they are.

• It is also interesting to note that people who are compassionate with themselves do not worry too much and do not immerse themselves in negative thoughts that reduce mental well-being (Krieger, Altenstein, Baettig, Doerig and Holtforth, 2013).

Components of self-compassion

Books and studies on compassion for oneself have increased in popularity in recent years. We know today that a patient with depression who is motivated to be compassionate with himself can improve his progress and his progressive recovery.

Studies such as this one conducted at the University of Zurich, for example, show how useful it is to include the concept in cognitive behavioral therapy. With that said, it’s quite interesting to remember the elements that shape the exercise of self-compassion:

• To be able to talk kindly to others and to oneself.
• Assess yourself positively.
• To be aware that people are not perfect.
• Understand that suffering, mistakes and losses are a part of life.
• Compassion for oneself means that one knows how to appreciate and love oneself.

Being compassionate with oneself: a key to being independent

Being compassionate with oneself is the opposite of considering oneself weak or fragile. It is to understand how much one is worth. In turn, this means being tolerant of our mistakes and embracing our inner wounds to give us encouragement and move forward.

It is also important to think of another interesting detail. Self-compassion increases independence, which validates your feelings, your needs and your self-esteem. When you know what you deserve, you stop relying on the attention and assurances of others. You can still appreciate them, but you no longer have a need for other people to validate you.

Finally, it is the ability to give yourself permission to be imperfect, and to continue to love yourself in all situations and circumstances – a healthy exercise that is well worth practicing.