How Do We Cover Our Emotions?
The emotions we call negative are usually followed by a certain behavior or certain actions to remove this emotional state. It is a strategy we humans use quite a lot, and it works very well in the short term because it generates relief and frees us from the uncomfortable, psychological symptoms of our emotions.
The problem is what happens in the long run. The solution is just a patch that is quickly applied due to the urgent need to get rid of the problem. These behaviors mean that the problem is maintained over time, and when we least expect it, this weak barrier will collapse.
Examples of these behaviors can be binge eating after an anxiety attack, desperately calling his partner in jealous anger to find out where he is, or taking drugs or wasting large amounts of money.
In psychology, we usually explain to patients and try to make them fully understand that their behavior, in addition to negative thoughts, is the cause of their problems. Before these behaviors cease, the emotional damage will remain.
We humans usually reject this theory because it is difficult to tolerate our emotions: to let them be, to feel them. The symptoms are so unpleasant that we sometimes do anything to not feel them. Even though we are aware that afterwards we can find ourselves in an even more difficult situation.
People are short-term hedonistic. In other words, we try to avoid pain and seek pleasure as well as immediate satisfaction at all costs, without thinking about the consequences.
For example, there are some people who become very anxious because their thoughts are too exaggerated. This can result in them engaging in a hypercaloric binge eating.
Binge eating will of course not solve the problem that exists; it will rather create a new problem if the person gets used to performing this dynamic.
Tolerating intense anxiety is therefore more complicated than the alternative route, which is a fast and poorly considered one. This pattern of behavior can actually become so ingrained that the person begins to explore the refrigerator and pantry at the slightest sign of stress, in search of something to put in their mouth.
It would have been perfect to practice an alternative behavior to meet the anxiety. Examples of these are deep breathing, analyzing the problem throughout, finding solutions and alternatives, thinking rationally, and carrying out the chosen solution. Yes, to tolerate that we feel anxious.
Anxiety is a feeling that acts physiologically like a curve: it increases to a ceiling, where it will begin to sink if we do not block it with the blanket we are talking about.
We have all at some point covered our emotions to suffer less and get temporary relief. If it does not become a habit, it is not very problematic.
Some ways to cover our emotions can be:
Food has a very strengthening power for people through the pleasure it offers, in addition to eliminating hunger. Binge eating, especially of sweet and fatty foods, can lead us to believe that our anxiety has diminished and even eliminated. Therefore, we tend to feel a relief from our emotional states with food, which can lead to severe eating disorders.
Like food, drugs are active in our pleasure and reward centers by releasing dopamine into the brain, which makes us feel good in a very short time.
Tobacco, hashish, alcohol and other drugs act as a very powerful, emotional shock. People with low frustration tolerance are at greater risk of developing drug problems.
Like the example mentioned above, pathological gambling is a reward, even if we lose more money than we win. The expectations of winning keep us alert and motivated, distract us from our clouds of anxiety and help us escape at the moment. Afterwards, the problem can be even greater if we go backwards.
Very typical of depression. In order not to suffer more and free themselves from exertion, some people can “stop living”. They become inactive at home, cancel entertainment activities, and in the worst case, take sick leave.
Being very aggressive and very submissive and accommodating are two behaviors that free us from conflicts with others. With aggression, we encourage others to do as we please, and in the short run we often succeed. With passivity, we take the blame and violate our rights.
Checking our partner’s phone, making sure we turn off the stove for the thousandth time, or undergoing lots of medical tests are behaviors that also free us from anxiety. We take extra preventive measures because we believe that something threatening can happen, even though it is not realistic.
There are also other safety behaviors, such as carrying a bottle of water in case of an anxiety attack, always having one with you or giving a lecture with a lucky amulet.
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