Love Is To Give Oneself, To Only Love Is To Desire
That word that surrounds my soul when I hear your name: love. A word I do not use for any person, not to mention when I refer to my feelings. For it is true that I can not say that I love you or that I long for you. To love and a love is not the same thing…
Even though light fills my soul every time I think about it, I can not say that I miss you every moment, every day… at every corner I thought you would still be there, waiting for me as you once did.
The number of stars in the sky is less than the number of times I would have died to kiss you, hug you and feel by my side. And now I can not stop thinking about the fact that you are with other people.
Could it be that I need you? I can not answer that question yet. All I know is that when we are together, I feel like the happiest person in the universe.
Months pass, but your memory keeps coming back to me. I think a phone call can be you or remember your beautiful smile and your tender look every time you looked at me.
Because when I kiss other lips I get drunk by your scent again, when I remember your gestures, your words and even your silence…
I’m not lying when I say that you are and will be a part of me, forever. You are part of my essence because you showed me the most amazing part of life. The place where heaven and earth unite to enjoy the most beautiful part of humanity: the eternal memory…
I wonder if what you and I had was true love. And for me, it becomes clearer and clearer that it was never love, but it was part of something amazing.
Something that words can not describe and that only the brave dare to name. Because when it comes to my feelings for you, I would be lying if I said I did not care.
Because I would also hide my eternal feelings for you if I said that every night I do not think about your warm kisses and your gentle touch of my hair. I have already deleted your phone number many times to try to forget you and move on.
But none of it works because I, even if I do not want to, still remember everything that has to do with your world, which was once ours, and your heart.
The truth is that everything that has to do with you just “happens”. It happens and it is real because love is built every day with moments like these, which last for years and lifetimes. For the warmest feelings are illuminated and they happen… they have truth and consequence in my reality.
It is true that my feelings, just as you guessed, are vague because they fade, but come back like falling stars. They are full of doubt and perhaps even too many expectations of illusions full of love.
I blame them for immaturity and my lack of experience, that I did not know what I wanted and even that I could not value you as you deserved. But what is true and which will always let me see you in my eternity, are all the tears I shed for your heart.
I would not lie if I said that my soul remembers everything I once lost because I was incomplete. But I can not help that I feel that I love you, and not that I am in love with you. For a love is to give oneself, and to love is to desire the other person’s distant heart.
If love hurts and tightens, it is not your size
To really understand why love hurts, we must go back to those very earliest memories that have been stored in… Read more »
