Know Your Self-aspects, But Do Not Fixate On Them

Today we will learn more about several different concepts, including self- discrepancy, self- aspects and self-complexity.

Many social-psychological theories have tried to define what the self is.

From William James, who at the end of the 19th century made a distinction between “me” as the subject of experiences and “I” as an observer, to the most orthodox psychoanalysis.

The self is the part of you that refers to yourself. It gives your identity meaning and reflects how you see yourself as an actor in your life experiences.

Even though human beings only have one unique being, it consists of more than one self. You are the sum of several different roles or self-aspects – I from the past, present and future.

A good way to maintain a healthy self-esteem is to be aware of their different selves. Appreciate and accept them, but do not merge with one of them. Keep in mind that none of your different selves encompass everything you are.

Why is this so important? Well, because if at some point in your life you go through an experience or a series of experiences that weaken or hurt one of your “Is”, it’s not a disaster.

Your other selves, those who are still intact, can compensate for the weak and alleviate the pain.

But if you cling to a particular aspect of who you are, you will experience a great threat as soon as any circumstance puts this aspect to the test. This makes it very difficult for you to manage your daily life.

Let’s take a look at some psychological theories that try to define the self and its relationship to emotions and self-esteem.

Higgins’ view of self-aspects – the self-discrepancy theory

Edward Tory Higgins developed the theory of self-discrepancy, which focuses on internalized norms which he calls “self-guides”.

He believes that the self is not a unified concept. According to Higgins, there are two cognitive dimensions that we can use to measure different self-states: the domains of the self and the perspective of the self.

The latter criterion refers to the person’s perception of himself. In addition, it includes the perception the person thinks that close individuals (partner, family, friends, etc.) have about him.

The self-discrepancy theory suggests that there are different self-domains based on the person’s own and other people’s perspectives.

These are: the actual self (what I am), the ideal self (what I would like to be), the should-self (what I should be), the potential self (what I could be) and the future self (what I am) hope to be).

For Higgins, the actual self is the starting point for your self-perception. What you know about yourself and what others know about you. Your other selves are your self-guides, who tell you where you are going and where you want to go.

As long as there is not too much discrepancy between your different self-representations, you will have a good self-esteem.

In addition, you will probably experience certain emotions if you pay special attention to or merge with a certain self.

For example, if your should-I is too important and you are fixated on it, you will be disappointed if something truncates it.

And if you are obsessed with your ideal self but have difficulty achieving your goals then you will be frustrated.

The self-guides are positive and help you grow. However, it is important not to become too attached to something special me. Instead, you need to make sure you nurture your true self, your true self.

Linville’s model for self-complexity: self-aspects and differentiation

Patricia Linville formulated a model consisting of four parts that refer to different self-representations and self-complexity with emotional variations.

The model first assumes that the self is cognitively represented in the form of various aspects.

These aspects depend in part on the number of social roles a person plays in his or her life (eg, spouse, mother, lawyer, etc.) and on the type of human relationships he or she establishes (collegial, rival, supportive, motherly).

They also depend on the activities she engages in (poker games, swimming, writing) or on personal qualities (ambitious, creative, etc.).

Each of these self-aspects organizes a collection of judgments and qualities that describe the self. Some of these are personality traits, physical characteristics, abilities, preferences, goals and personal memories.

They organize them in such a way that the self-aspects differ from each other in that they include different characteristics.

Linville defines self-complexity based on two elements: the number of self-aspects and the degree of differentiation of these aspects.

People with high self-complexity organize their self-awareness based on a larger number of self-aspects and they make a greater distinction between them.

In that sense , it is normal to feel satisfied with some of your roles and less satisfied with others. For example, a woman may feel proud of herself as a mother while being ashamed of her work performance.

Let’s say you have high self-complexity (many well-differentiated self-aspects). Consequently, your emotional reactions become less extreme when something “hurts” one of your self-aspects.

What affects you as a mother does not have to have any effect on who you are as an employee, daughter, sister or friend.

Summary

It is healthy to maintain certain self-guides over the course of your life. They help you set life challenges and goals.

In addition, they help you to be consistent and to work for what you want and what you think you deserve. As Linville emphasizes, it is also good to have different self-aspects.

But make sure you maintain self-complexity and beware of attaching too much to any particular of these selves.

To protect your self-esteem and maintain a steady mood, it is important that you are aware of all your self-aspects and self-representations. Work with them, improve them, but avoid defining yourself solely on the basis of one of them.

If you work on not focusing too much on any particular self-aspect, you will be much better equipped to handle the ups and downs of life. See it as not putting all the eggs in the same basket.

Whatever happens to one of your special self-representations will have less impact on your self-esteem and mood. The explanation is that you have so many others to fall back on.

As Patricia Linville says, high self-complexity protects you in bad times, but it also helps you keep your feet on the ground in good times.